|Image credit: Glossybox.co.uk|
I kind of snapped a few weeks ago, and it wasn't even a bad box that set me off. Everything was… fine.
That's sort of the problem. No excitement, no spark of interest, everything was just fine. Hunky-dory. Okay, so it was a pink (OMGZZZ PINK!!!!111oneone) box. Cute, but not revolutionary. And there was a sweetie. Both of these were obviously a gesture towards forcing the contents of the box, protestingly, to fit in the self-imposed Valentine's template.
Then, enter the creation of hype. "We've got a special Valentine's box!" they perkily tweeted, and suddenly everyone wanted a piece of it.
Now, call me old-fashioned, but I received some anti-ageing night cream from Clarins in my box. I don't associate night cream with romance - I associate it with - oh! Skin care. Because nothing says 'I love you' like being presented with the reminder that you're ageing.
The whole box proceeded in the same way and any tenuous link to St. Valentine began to slip through their grasp: a Murad skin primer thing which made my face look sweaty and orange like I was recovering from a bad case of food poisoning after a sunny holiday, and a blue eyeliner.
A blue eyeliner.
Let's focus on that. It's Valentine's Day. I'm getting ready for a hot date with my marvellous beau (please note that Kiwi and I would never do this because we simply don't do V-Day) and making myself look pretty. Who in their right mind would reach for a blue eyeliner? I can just imagine myself now, sweaty orange face glinting in the dim candlelight over dinner, eyes lined in blue kohl and red lipstick smeared over my madly cackling mouth and teeth.
Because that's what I think of when I think of blue eyeliner - and I'm sure there's some people who wear it beautifully, but seriously - blue eyeliner?! For Valentine's Day?! In combination with an anti-ageing cream, it's pretty difficult to imagine the demographic they tried to cover here. No, GlossyBox, just no.
The best thing is, that after this month's box reveal from the ambassadors, I'm doubly pleased that I decided to end my long-standing and loyal subscription: a multi-use 'soap', yet more body lotion (and EXACTLY the same lotion as their very first box) and lipgloss I'll never use.
Now, if at this point, you think I've got it in for GlossyBox, I'm going to have to correct you. I was subscribed from the very first box, and my anger and negative feelings towards it, their customer service and policies have been gently puffing their way to full-blown rage like a middle-aged jogging enthusiast since. I'm no more angry or interested in GlossyBox than I would be with any other business I feel let down by. The thing about GlossyBox is that they're very good at creating hype… but then there's the down-side: they can't take the backlash when people inevitably feel conned and disappointed by their box and they stick their heads in the sand. Then people forget, and a month passes, and then oh! Maybe this month will be better! GlossyBox says so! The GlossyBox hype machine rolls on.
I'm glad I escaped, because I feel like unless GlossyBox steps up their game, deals with complaints and constructive criticism, and doesn't constantly change their policies endlessly regarding collecting their famed GlossyDots AND stops creating unnecessary hype by appending unnecessary holidays* to their boxes as a way of driving sales (because seriously - not one of those products would EVER be suitable for any kind of Valentine's Day), then their days must surely be numbered. Their continual failure to implement any kind of beauty preference or requirement when other beauty boxes can and HAVE implemented it with the sending of a simple email, let alone filling in the GlossyBox profile, means that they simply cannot be bothered to interact with their customers, listen or even care what they want. Goodbye, GlossyBox. It was nice knowing you (NOT)*.
*on a side-note, I would be willing to see a Pancake Day-themed box.
* Clearly a Wayne's World reference ;)
* please note that if you'd like to see my previous rant on something else (Eyeko) then feel free to click over here.