Both of those should stay firmly in the 90's, not least because shell suits were both obnoxiously-coloured and flammable, and turned young fashion-conscious boys into moving human infernos anyway.
… And they were just horrible.
So anyway, the bad fringe. It started when I went home to my parents' house for Christmas. You know how they say there's something in the water? Well, my hair has grown accustomed to its daily onslaught of London water, and the soft water in the quaint, conservative climes of Kent left my hair confused, and too soft.
You're probably going to stop me at 'too soft' and indignantly say, 'well there's no such thing as too soft,' and there I will have to disagree. My hair is fine, there's just quite a lot of it. When it's too soft, it is slippery like an eel, and worse still, creepingly flat against my skull, skulking closely about like Gollum. To have the benefit of that, plus long hair made me look like Cher (or, alternatively, Christopher Lee as Saruman in Lord of the Rings, sans beard. I bet you cannot unsee the resemblance between Cher and Saruman now.)
The good fringe drought continued after my return. Bits stuck out, it kept getting that Vicky Pollard look about it. And then I looked at the rest of my hair and wondered what the hell it was actually doing, other than lying there, getting a free ride daily. My usual hair routine always culminated in a ponytail or bun, and I never wore it down… So what was the point?
Within 24 hours I was sitting in the chair and watching it all be cut off, back to where I started, and I feel infinitely more 'me' now; slightly scruffy, texturised and less prissy and neat.
I love it. If a haircut could be home, then I'm hanging up my coat in the hall and curling myself on the couch in my usual spot. Familiar doesn't always mean boring. I've never felt less boring with my new-old hair.
In the spirit of bringing you some actual content, rather than telling you my usual too-long-didn't-read story about something inconsequential, I'm going to tell you now that my long-beloved OSIS Dust-It Mattifying Powder and I have been reunited.
I started using this wonder product after unexpectedly getting a pixie crop about 5 years ago, and have never looked back. It's a lightweight powder which I tap directly into my roots, and then I muss up my hair a bit to give my roots some volume.
The first time you use this, your hair will feel weird, and probably horrible - and if you use too much, you will spend the whole day touching your hair and cringing. Less is more! What I get from this product is this amazing all day… malleable quality. It doesn't hold my volume all day, but all it takes is a quick muss up and it looks as voluminous and bedhead as before, and I like to use it in the ends of my hair, too to give it a bit of oomph at the ends, and to shape it how I like it. It also works really well when your hair's getting to that 'second-day' phenomenon where it's not quite in need of a wash, but a bit limp and in need of some shoulder-pads.
The world seems to love these kind of hair powder products at the moment, but let me say something: this one is the original, and it's the best, and I've been spoiled for using any other brand since laying eyes on the little red salt-shaker pot.
In the interests of branching out with my hair products - what products do you count on for a daily dose of volume?