I am scared of a lot of things: spiders, wasps, being stuck in a lift for hours with only a weirdo for company, public transport late at night, makeup...
There is a Pandora's Box in my mind which I'm increasingly feeling compelled to confront; the key to it is thrown away into the Bermuda Triangle at the deepest, darkest end of a swirling sea surrounded by fiery volcanoes and 6-foot spiders. Such is my fear of the following innocuous trends, that I'm going to have to force myself to break the habit. If I don't, I might just get stuck here, perched uncomfortably on this picket fence surrounding my beautiful garden of sanctuary, of neutral eyes and matching lips, of black liquid liner and pre-approved mascaras.
There are 5 makeup looks which give me the chills, the terrors, the decided collywobbles (yes, I'm trying to stage a comeback for the word 'collywobbles', go forth and sow the seed of the wonderful British English!). In this series of blog posts, I'm going to tell you about them, why they terrify me, and then attempt to wear them.
There is only one rule, and that is that whilst wearing said look, I must leave the house.
So, to divulge these iniquitous looks I'm scared of, then...
- Fuchsia lips: It took me almost 22 years of my life to confront the red lip, and now I'm in love. My recent purchase from MAC's Liberty of London collection, a lipstick in 'Petals & Peacocks', has me swooning until I put it on. Learning to like this one is going to be a challenge... but I'll get there. I'm going to wear this with thick black liner and a pinch of pink in my cheeks. See how I got on here!
- Going natural: I loathe 'the natural look' of makeup with a passion; it's blah, there's no fun to it or innovation. And it involves leaving the house without my safety net of black liquid liner and a lovely lipstick to cover my discomfort. It's the easiest one to execute, but I have a feeling I'll start to look really tired and not-me-ish around midday.
- Neon eyes: I've always wanted to try this, and mistakenly veered towards pink shades like the magpie I am. Pink anywhere near my eyes makes me look like I've contracted kind of awful disease. This time I'm going to try neon orange, and hope for the best.
- Nude lips: My ultimate demon. I don't want to look like I've got (pardon the unsavoury comparison) jizz lips, but I think this is going to be awful. I'm pretty sure I'm going to feel awful and look awful, and my teeth will look more yellow and it's just not going to work. I need to try, and I'll show willing, you cruel, cruel mistress, you. I'm going to wear this one with smokey eyes so I don't feel quite so self-conscious.
- Yellow eyes: I don't like the colour yellow, not a lot anyway. Having seen the Gaga's (I hate her so don't be fooled) latest muzak video (this video confused me beyond belief), I'm inspired to try yellow eyeshadow à la lovely Beyoncé. Jaundice central, I think.
So there we have it, and I'm already cowering from writing out these descriptions.
Are there any makeup looks you just won't touch? Why?