Tuesday, 13 April 2010

5 makeup looks which terrify me (and my attempts to pull them off)

I am scared of a lot of things: spiders, wasps, being stuck in a lift for hours with only a weirdo for company, public transport late at night, makeup...

Yes, makeup.

There is a Pandora's Box in my mind which I'm increasingly feeling compelled to confront; the key to it is thrown away into the Bermuda Triangle at the deepest, darkest end of a swirling sea surrounded by fiery volcanoes and 6-foot spiders. Such is my fear of the following innocuous trends, that I'm going to have to force myself to break the habit. If I don't, I might just get stuck here, perched uncomfortably on this picket fence surrounding my beautiful garden of sanctuary, of neutral eyes and matching lips, of black liquid liner and pre-approved mascaras.

There are 5 makeup looks which give me the chills, the terrors, the decided collywobbles (yes, I'm trying to stage a comeback for the word 'collywobbles', go forth and sow the seed of the wonderful British English!). In this series of blog posts, I'm going to tell you about them, why they terrify me, and then attempt to wear them.

There is only one rule, and that is that whilst wearing said look, I must leave the house.

So, to divulge these iniquitous looks I'm scared of, then...

  1. Fuchsia lips: It took me almost 22 years of my life to confront the red lip, and now I'm in love. My recent purchase from MAC's Liberty of London collection, a lipstick in 'Petals & Peacocks', has me swooning until I put it on. Learning to like this one is going to be a challenge... but I'll get there. I'm going to wear this with thick black liner and a pinch of pink in my cheeks. See how I got on here!
  2. Going natural: I loathe 'the natural look' of makeup with a passion; it's blah, there's no fun to it or innovation. And it involves leaving the house without my safety net of black liquid liner and a lovely lipstick to cover my discomfort. It's the easiest one to execute, but I have a feeling I'll start to look really tired and not-me-ish around midday.
  3. Neon eyes: I've always wanted to try this, and mistakenly veered towards pink shades like the magpie I am. Pink anywhere near my eyes makes me look like I've contracted kind of awful disease. This time I'm going to try neon orange, and hope for the best.
  4. Nude lips: My ultimate demon. I don't want to look like I've got (pardon the unsavoury comparison) jizz lips, but I think this is going to be awful. I'm pretty sure I'm going to feel awful and look awful, and my teeth will look more yellow and it's just not going to work. I need to try, and I'll show willing, you cruel, cruel mistress, you. I'm going to wear this one with smokey eyes so I don't feel quite so self-conscious.
  5. Yellow eyes: I don't like the colour yellow, not a lot anyway. Having seen the Gaga's (I hate her so don't be fooled) latest muzak video (this video confused me beyond belief), I'm inspired to try yellow eyeshadow à la lovely Beyoncé. Jaundice central, I think.
So there we have it, and I'm already cowering from writing out these descriptions.

Are there any makeup looks you just won't touch? Why?


  1. Nude lips for me too! it's just the most weird thing on pale skin ever.

    I am a lover of the fuchsia lips though, I have Petals & Peacocks and Girl About Town and I love them! it's definitely nicest with a flushed cheek and a a sort of smudged liner and big lashes.

    A colour I fear is coral...I don't know why as I'm drawn to it, but on me, it looks slightly odd, I've got a similar skin tone to you and coral colours look lovely on you!

    I think rather than yellow, you should go for a green colour like Bitter from MAC, that would look lovely on you!

    Mind if I copy this and make my own version of this post for my blog?

    xxx Simone (BringSimmyTheHorizon on youtube)

  2. I am totally with you on the Natural Look, I put makeup on for a reason!! I do love a nude lip though, especially with a smokey eye. I can just about get away with a touch of pink on my lids, as long as it is with another colour, but yellow, its never gonna look good!

  3. Yep, nude lips for me too! Mind you, the natural color of my lips is somewhere neared MAC Viva Glam IV, a deep berry pink, rather than pale baby pink or light beige. I'm super duper pale too, so pale lips just make me look sick! I can pull some shades off with a tan, but right now, I feel a lot more comfortable with darker colors.

    I'm wearing quite a bright pink today, like a deeper fuschia, and I think it would suit you as well, you just need to find the right shade of bright pink.

    Great idea for a post, hun! x

  4. If you're feeling super-brave, you can do 1 and 5 together (I'm just sayin' if you're going all out with the yellow eyes, then a bright lip might give it that "I'm doing this on purpose" flair). Or Kiwi will tell you to never listen to my advice ever again.

  5. @Simone I'm so glad you reminded me of Bitter! I'm going to pick that one up tomorrow - I've been unable to stop thinking about it since you mentioned. I may well 'adapt' my project, but I'm more terrified of yellow eyeshadow than I am of Bitter - but we'll see how generous I'm feeling towards myself on the actual day :)

    And of course I don't mind! Link me to your blog - I couldn't find it :( xxx

  6. @missmascara1983 I'm the most scared of the nude lip - and then the natural makeup straight after. I love the way it looks when I initially put it on, but half an hour afterwards I look tired and greasy and horrible. Eek!

  7. @Rocaille You're lucky! My lips aren't that pigmented so I need something on them at all times so I don't look quite so dead. I think I'm going to do the fuchsia lips tomorrow - Kiwi won't be with me as I'm going out to London to do a bit of *coughcough* shopping - so he won't be there to judge me :) x

  8. @Posey I read this comment aloud to K and he said 'agrizzle' in a very solemn voice to your last comment ;)


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