Minette the Cat encapsulates my feeling after a round with the Jillian.
Let's just say it was Gemma's fault. In her quest to lose some weight, she unwittingly created a bandwagon for everyone to jump on: The 30-Day Shred, led by the rather terrifying Jillian Michaels. As heaps of people jumped on the merry bandwagon, I thought about it too. After all, how hard could 20 or so minutes a day be?
My reasons behind this decision stem from having had breast reduction surgery. Having seen my self-esteem plummet in indirect proportion to the amount my boobs kept growing, I just sat and ate and didn't do loads of exercise. I'm fairly lucky in that I started off slim in the first place, but after having not been allowed to exercise after my surgery for 8 weeks, and having spent most of my final year of university sitting on the couch and writing my dissertation, well, I just continued to slowly bloat out to a size I'm completely unhappy with.
So, the Shred. At the 5 minute mark I'm still bouncing about enthusiastically and doing the jumping jacks with all the energy I can. At the 10 minute mark, I'm yelling expletives and wishing I hadn't been so spendy with my energy for the easier exercises. After 15 minutes I stop, feeling the swirling grey nausea of the incredibly unfit. Other things I'm also feeling at this point are indescribable rage, the need to cry and profuse sweating. I mark this first try as a trial go, a dress-rehearsal before the real thing. I chalk it up to being too enthusiastic and trying all the 'advanced' exercises, when I should have just stuck with the 'baby-steps' approach.
After my first half-go, every muscle is screaming, my legs don't feel my own and when I go to get the soap in the shower, my arm pathetically claws out into the empty space, stupid and unsteady. The day after, today, it hurts to do things and I'm no longer as sprightly as a kitten. I feel old and decrepit and, goddamnit, EVERYTHING HURTS.
Things I've learned from the first go:
- I need to weigh myself and find out my start weight!
- Despite the fact that I'm short, I'm really strong in my arms; I can pick up the 6'3" Kiwi and carry him about. However, for reasons I cannot explain, I CANNOT do full press-ups. I have to do them like a 'lady' - the shit way.
- I need to keep going with this - I am woefully unfit.
Until next time, then
kill me kill me kill me :)