Thursday, 18 March 2010

Beauty Confessions...

The perfect veneer of the beauty world is often bursting with foregone conclusions and smoke and mirrors, with so many of us fooled by these conjurors' tricks and racing round-eyed for those new products and releases for the first test-drive. That's not to say, of course, that all of us bloggers and YouTubers involved in the beauty world are intellectually-challenged, rather, the juggernaut of the beauty community continues to steam through our consciousness with an army of flawless-faced wonders ever-cajoling and enticing.

These days, we expect a lot from those beauty products which attain 'hype' status before they even hit the market; we expect a multi-purpose easy-install model with value-for-money and perhaps an attached microwave-oven... and we want to like it as much as everyone else is. When I am clawed into buying a hype product and end up hating it, I almost prefer to remain reticent, sometimes; the internet is full of people waiting to tell you 'YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG' and that you were not, in fact, using the product in the way X, Y and Z people intended.

And that's not even mentioning the unmentionable: the broken rules beneath that glossy sheen, the beauty boundaries I keep transgressing with complete disregard for all of those rites and fits and sparks of habit-forming we're supposed to develop from an early age but that I missed the boat on.

So, here is a post dedicated to my beauty 'confessions' - the rules I knowingly break, the hypes I didn't get and the techniques I took too long to master.
  1. I'm a panic-buyer and hoarder: This is probably true for a lot of us beauty fanatics in the blogosphere, but when I find a limited edition product that I really love, I have this awful, unshakeable feeling which bubbles up inside me that I really, really need to buy another one. Or two. This happened with the Colour Craft collection and now I have two Smooth Merge MSFs, one of which is just sitting sadly not being used. While I'm a hoarder, though, I'm extremely good at having a huge, cathartic clear-out and when I get the urge, I am brutal with myself. There is one thing I cannot stand, and that is clutter. My panic-buying is always short-lived.
  2. I don't get Lush: I just don't. The smell of the store makes me feel nauseous and I just don't think their products are that good. I love their lip balms because they are like butter, but the scents they use in their products turn my skin into an unhappy, cracking red mass. The soaps everyone raves about just smell like 'ew' to me. Maybe I'm just not ready for the Lush revolution yet.
  3. I suck at applying false lashes: After a blissful lifetime of not indoctrinating myself into this particular beauty technique, I took the baptism of fire last September and applied my first pair. Disaster. Turns out, all that time I spent perfecting my liquid liner could have equally been useful for learning the secret to Bambi lashes. As it is, I'm a dab hand at liquid liner and end up with the lashes stuck to my hand rather than my eye. Shame.
  4. I never moisturise anywhere other than my face: I'm trying to rectify this with a bottle of Baby Oil in the shower, but the fact stands that I'm fairly lazy about moisturising anywhere other than my face or poorly hands. I wish I could remember to do it, but my skin never feels dry so I don't remember. Oh dear. I'm sure when I'm old, this will come back to bite me.
  5. I hate Woodwinked eyeshadow: I think Woodwinked is one of those over-hyped products which people assert will suit everyone, just like Orgasm blush by NARS. There is no one-size-fits-all with cosmetics, as I realised after I'd bought it, tried it on and looked like the victim of some kind of liver disease. Just terrible.
  6. I don't understand the hype over Fix+: What is this hype all about, really? I've fallen for this hype twice, and in my experience I only ever allow a cosmetic/beauty item two chances before it's out of my repertoire forever. It doesn't set my foundation or powder, it doesn't give me a dewy look, it doesn't add extra moisture to my skin. It IS refreshing on a hot day and it's useful for foiling pigments. It's essentially water with extra ingredients and I'm still sore I fell for that one twice.
  7. I never remember to throw away mascaras over 3 months old: I'm the forgetful type (but not when having a row with Kiwi - my memory is extremely acute for those occasions!) and never notice my 3 month grace period with my mascara is up. If the mascara looks okay and smells okay, then I forget until it definitely isn't okay. Horror stories aside, I've never had problems, and I suspect a lot of people do this too :)
  8. Until September I only owned 3 nail polishes: I only owned a red, a fuchsia and a nail strengthener... Working with food meant the rules were extremely restrictive, so no nail polish for me! I'll tell you now, I'm making up with this, having increased my small collection by 15 in just a few months. Oh dear... An obsession in the making.
  9. I fail at painting inside the lines of my cuticles: When I've just painted my nails, it looks like a toddler's been finger-painting. I appear to have neither the necessary creative faculties nor the motor control and just smear the polish haphazardly over my nails and hope for the best. It's not the best time for an obsession to take hold.
  10. I only learned to do my eyebrows aged 22: Just a couple of weeks before I started my YouTube channel, I was taught by a lovely and patient MAC lady how to fill in my eyebrows, and wondered why I'd never tried to do it before. Now, I feel like my face is incomplete without my brows being filled in, and can't believe I'd never learned before then.
Has anyone else got any beauty confessions to get off their chest?

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